Empowering- An Act of Surrender

This past month has been an exercise in surrender.  I have been brought to place where there is no more energy to fight and surrendering is the only option.  So I decided to look at it in a different way rather than how it may look to others.  I have had to release the feelings of overwhelm and anxiety, while letting go of the past, and allowing myself to just rest in the present moment.

When I feel overwhelmed I stop and take a slow deep breath calming my mind. I bring myself back to the present moment, where I have a choice.  I knew, in the moment, there was nothing that I could do to fix the problem and worry would only make me sick.

It is all about surrendering and letting go of things that happened in the past and things that might happen in the future and focusing on now, the very moment we are in.   The present moment is where our personal power dwells.   

In my experience surrender does not have to mean giving up on something; it is a letting go of what you cannot control. Surrender clears the way for a calmer mind and enables the releasement of feelings of overwhelm and anxiety.   There is real strength and personal power in surrender, allowing you to see the present moment instead of looking behind, or in front, at some unforeseen incident that has occurred or might occur.  When your focus is on the present it gives you power to make conscious choices from a heart centered place of strength.  Instead of the choice being made for you or by another, you can decide what is in the best and highest good for you, and usually what is in your best and highest good is also in the best and highest good for others. 

The message here is, surrender is a sign of strength not weakness. I believe it shows emotional maturity; it takes an aware person to realize that letting go is the best option.  Any time you honor yourself it always leads to something better.  

Empowering - An Act of Love

My mother has been on my mind lately, she passed away in 2003 and I have been trying to find my way in life as a motherless daughter ever since.  Her death was very hard on me, I wanted her to fight  because, I still needed and still need my mom. She was the most important person in my life.  Her death left me devastated, abandoned and lost with a very big whole in my life that can not be filled by another.  


I bring this painful part of my life up because I have, until recently, been angry when thinking of my mother’s death. In my perspective she just gave up and the easiest way out was to transition. I have changed my way of looking at this situation. It came to my realization that her passing was an empowering act on her part by doing what was best for her; a beautiful example of keeping her personal power.

When I changed my perspective on this situation from what she did to me, to what she did for herself, I took back my power. I changed the energy of all the pain and anger I have felt, allowing room for real heart centered resolution and forgiveness. 

Dedication - Empowering My Voice

This blog is dedicated to that part of me that has been hushed up, stuffed down, given up, belittled and told it was not that important. Speaking my truth and what is on my mind has been a hard task for me because, as a woman born and raised in the south it is better to be seen but not heard. As a lesbian the shame and guilt about feeling different makes your voice hide and as a recovering Mormon I was told it is not your place. These early lessons in my voice's history made it hard for me to speak my truth, believe in a cause and more importantly love myself.

I also dedicate this blog to all the southern women being  heard before seen,to all the lesbians reclaiming there voices as they come out of hiding and to all the women recovering from religion; it is your place and your right to be heard.

This is my voice waking and me speaking my truth and claiming my power.