Thursday, March 1, 2012

Empowering - An Act of Love

My mother has been on my mind lately, she passed away in 2003 and I have been trying to find my way in life as a motherless daughter ever since.  Her death was very hard on me, I wanted her to fight  because, I still needed and still need my mom. She was the most important person in my life.  Her death left me devastated, abandoned and lost with a very big whole in my life that can not be filled by another.  


I bring this painful part of my life up because I have, until recently, been angry when thinking of my mother’s death. In my perspective she just gave up and the easiest way out was to transition. I have changed my way of looking at this situation. It came to my realization that her passing was an empowering act on her part by doing what was best for her; a beautiful example of keeping her personal power.

When I changed my perspective on this situation from what she did to me, to what she did for herself, I took back my power. I changed the energy of all the pain and anger I have felt, allowing room for real heart centered resolution and forgiveness. 

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6 comments:

  1. Joyce HughesMarch 3, 2012 at 5:03 PM

    Your mother was a most beautiful woman who very seldom "took" any action for herself. She truly lived to devote herself to others. But at the end, she was so very tired. She had been ill so long. Never, ever doubt she loved you deeply, and she loves you still as we all do. You have grown into a beautiful woman, and she is so proud of you.

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    1. ChristieApril 15, 2012 at 5:50 PM

      Thank you for those words Joyce,

      It feels funny to call you by your first name, you have been a second mother to me and I have always been thankful for that. I don't think I ever said thank you for being there for me and my mom when she died. Thank you! I work hard every day to make her proud.
      Chris

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  2. DJrelAt7March 8, 2012 at 8:08 PM

    Losing loved ones is always a heart breaking challenge. I think we all feel that something has been done to us instead of how they are in a better place. Its awesome that you have turned that thinking around. So many people never get that opportunity! Thanks for sharing!

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    1. ChristieApril 15, 2012 at 5:31 PM

      Thank you,

      It has taken me some time to get to that point. I believe grief can sometimes get confused in the many swirling feelings that are involved in the death of a loved one.

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  3. AnonymousMarch 9, 2012 at 12:52 PM

    Very interesting. As many times as I've heard you speak of your mother's death, I never heard the anger. I'm glad to hear you're looking at it from a different - & hopefully healthier - perspective. HF

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    1. ChristieApril 15, 2012 at 5:23 PM

      Thank you Hannah-Fey,

      It, as I have learned, is all about perspective.

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