Life takes courage, courage to heal, courage to love and most importantly the courage to change.
Encouragement is that feeling, from another, that everything will be alight and you can conquer anything. Encouragement back then was something that was in short supply.
Even though I had discovered that I was gay, I was still struggling with an inner conflict.
A disassociation split was driving me crazy, between I am bad but this feels right and I should suppress this feeling and follow the Mormon teachings. Both had a negative connotation and it would take courage to realize, I was not bad but a perfectly made image of the creator.
As a person with a Mormon upbringing, I thought I should just be the person everyone expected me to be. By my early twenties, I should have been married and have a child while looking for new ways to take care of my husband.
My anxiety was high and at that point I thought I had to choose my family or my happiness. I started isolating myself from everyone, hoping that my secret identity would not be discovered. It was going to take an eminence amount of courage and encouragement to finally come completely out of the closet.