Tuesday, April 1, 2014

A is For Appease

Would it be easier if I appeased you and told you that I or any other gay person had a choice about who we love? Would it make you feel better to think that the deviant behavior was a choice?
If I did not patronize or appease, would it shatter your belief that god would not create a person in his image, that loved another person in a way religious fundamentalists think incorrect.

I am not here to appease you; I am here to speak the truth!

I do not consider my mother or father to be a overly religious; I considered them to be a product of societal and religious thinking.     I I also do not consider myself to be unloved by my parents. I believe change can be difficult especially when it is something related to programming and thoughts of failure.

With so many people holding up signs that spew vitriol and promote hate, it does not surprise me that so many youth struggling to reclaim themselves chose to die rather than face what they cannot change or choose to be. I remember hearing all my life that God does not make junk; we are the image of the creator and that makes us perfect.  

I went to my mother crying and told her I was sorry, I am God's first piece of Junk, because I cannot change who I am.   That moment of vulnerability changed everything. She understood but still struggled with it, and even though we did not speak about it again and more healing needed to occur, she did not deem me broken any longer. The first step was taken.

17 comments:

  1. Keep speaking the truth and being true to yourself!
    It's the haters in this world that will have to speak for their actions.
    You are a wonderful creation!!

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    1. Thank you, the encouragement is much appreciated.

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  2. So glad to see you speaking your truth and laying it all out there for others to see!

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    1. Thank you, I appreciate all the support.

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  3. And the truth will set you free!

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    1. I agree, nothing more freeing than speaking into a situation and being witnessed.

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  4. My mother at first accepted when I told her, then she said never to bring my lady to her home 'not under my roof' was what she said, but before she passed on, she told me that as long as I was happy, then nothing else mattered. It's that I hang onto when I think of her. I don't know if you know it, you probably do, but you aren't alone. Welcome to A to Z and I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts.

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    1. I had a similar reaction, my mom finally accepted, but did not want to talk about any of my lady friends. My mom passed 10 years ago and by the end she wanted me to be happy as well. I hold that close to my heart, if no one else accepts me, she did. Thank you, I appreciate the support.

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  5. Powerful post. So much truth in your words. Thanks for this. I hope more people find this blog!

    Kelbian @ Diverse Pages

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    1. Thank you, It is important to me, that I speak into the past as honestly and heart felt as possible.

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  6. I can feel your passion in this.

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  7. This was a truly powerful post.
    Happy to see you joined the SU party, Christie! I look forward to following you throughout this month. :)

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  8. Voices like yours need to be heard. I'm happy to share -- just wish I could do more. Love shouldn't be so damn difficult! It's hard enough to find the right partner for yourself, forget about someone that society deems worthy. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you know that you have plenty of supporters! No need to appease us!

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  9. I'm glad you found your voice - the challenge this year is going to be an interesting experience! I hope blogging about it helps you come to terms with the reactions of those you love - and who love you, despite their prejudices and upbringing.
    Jemima
    #TeamDamyanti
    Blogging from Alpha to Zulu in April!

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  10. Echoing Jemima here. Would follow your challenge with interest.

    Damyanti Co-host, A to Z Challenge 2014

    Twitter: @damyantig
    #atozchallenge

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  11. Love this post, and I'm glad you are confident enough to write it. Keep up the good work.

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  12. I would like to add to this an A for Admire. I admire your step to talk openly about your experiences. This will mean a lot to many, many people. Not everyone has that courage and ability to speak as you do.
    Discovered your blog thanks to A to Z, and look forward to be following!
    http://galeriaredelius.wordpress.com

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