Monday, April 14, 2014

L is for Legit

As in my feelings are legit and valid.
It took many years and a feeling wheel to even learn to identify my feelings. Growing up not being able to show emotional or worse not having those feeling validated cased a split between me and my emotional self.
We were made to show emotion, we are human and alive; emotions are a gift and an activator of growth.  
During my first relationship with a woman, I discovered that the same problem exist as do with heterosexual relationships.  
The emotions were overwhelming and I can say I did not handle myself with the most decorum.  I did not know how to handle all the emotion involved in a relationship of this magnitude.  
I jumped into another relationship to get out of that one, I was able to use this relationship to regroup, hide out and get my needs met.
When that nine months was over, and I knew it would end because I just wanted a place to hide out and get over the other relationship.
When those nine months were over, and I knew it would end, I finally let lose all the feelings and emotions I deemed irrelevant or not legit.
I guess my point is, that when I deemed myself bad for being gay, I stopped trusting myself and that lead to a disconnect, in my being able to express my emotions in a healthy way. 
 Over time I connected back into myself and I express





2 comments:

  1. Relationships are difficult, learning to give and take, and to deal with everyones baggage. I'm glad your expressing now.

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  2. I agree! I love your use of the word "legit". It has such power in those two short syllables. The strong T at the end is like an exclamation point. I'm grateful to read of your growth. Brava!


    Julie Jordan Scott
    The Bold Writer from A to Z

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